Good Morning my friends
On this day two years ago, a couple of days prior I had received my first three day cycle of chemo and my first shot of Neulasta and just I had just endured a day what will remain etched in my memory forever because it was without a doubt the weakest I had ever felt in my life. I remember the night before going to bed after listening to the Yellowjackets football game. I remember feeling fine but I woke-up in the middle of the night feeling much different. Here is the entry from my journal from Oct 12th 2013.
It’s 2:30 am, I just woke up and the nausea just hit me like a hurricane.. Vomiting but nothing really substantial.. Fever is creeping upward… My meds are down but the waves continue. I’m not sure if I can even lift my head to hit the trash can. Oh Lord, I wasn’t expecting this onslaught.. Every 30-45 minutes for the next 2 hrs. It finally subsided about 5:30…. Thank you Jesus.. I’m was so weak. My body feels like I’ve been beat with a bat.. My knees and ankles are hurting so bad.. My teeth even hurt. Keri’s trying to massage my joints to help but the movement is making me nauseated.. Pressure seems to relieve the pain somewhat.. Pain meds finally allow me to go back to sleep.. It’s 7:30am gotta go to the bathroom.. Standing up is difficult. I’m trying to stand but I just can’t.. I am so weak.. Lord, I need your strength to make it the 15ft to the bathroom, with Keri’s assistance I make it but it’s a chore.. I make it back into bed. Keri’s gonna to run to Walgreen’s. I ask her to get ace bandages to wrap my lower limbs.. Pressure feels a lot better than the pain… Back to sleep.. That’s the only thing to do.. It mask the pain. My head is so heavy, my body is hurting so bad but my sickness has subsided.. temperature keeps creeping upward. Keri’s worried about the fever. Its ok because it hasn’t hit the magic point where they said to call… It’s 10am and now I’m feeling even worse.. I’ve never felt this way before.. I’m never sick.. I wouldn’t wish this upon anyone… NOTHING CAN COMPARE TO THIS…. Oh God, I need Your loving hands laid upon me to help me make it through this. I feel like I’m on the bottom of a dogpile and I can’t move.. I can breath but I can’t move.. Keri reminds me I need to drink. It’s tough to lift my head much less lift it up to drink. We improvise. She holds the cup on the side of the bed and I drink out of a straw.. Luckily I was laying close enough to the side that I didn’t have to move. My temperature reaches 101.8, it’s time to call the dr.. He calling in an antibiotic. After waiting for over an hour it was finally filled. Its 3:30pm and I took my first antibiotic pill.. I slept rest of the day. Only waking up to take meds, drink what little fluids I did and go to the bathroom with her help. Every bathroom break was a struggle. As the evening wears on and I drank more fluids, my dogpile seem to be decreasing with each passing hour.. Taking my meds and going to sleep… I’m praying that Sunday is different. Fever has finally gone…
Jesus said, “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
There are a lot people that find it difficult to believe God is a God of love. “How could He be,” they ask, “when the world is filled with so much suffering and evil?” It’s not a real easy issue to address but if you really want to know the reality of God’s love all you have to do is look at the cross. It was love in fact a divine love that made Christ endure the cross, despising the shame. It was love that restrained Him when He was falsely accused of blasphemy and led to Golgotha to die with common thieves. He didn’t raised a hand against His enemies. It was that kind of love that kept Him from calling a legions of angels to come to His defense while hanging on the cross. It was that same kind of love that allowed Him to pause and give hope to a repentant sinner whom cried, “Lord, remember me when You come into Your kingdom” (Luke 23:42) as He hung on the cross in agonizing pain. It was that love that caused Jesus to lift His voice and pray, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do” (Luke 23:34).
“I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.” (Jeremiah 31:3)
My CHALLENGE PRAYER for YOU… Just look at the cross to find His Love…
I hope you all have a WONDERFUL day.. Blessings & much love….D
ALWAYS…..Live YOUR life like it’s your LAST 24!!!
#last24 #wpbc #eternalmission #itslife
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