The last two days, I’ve been in Houston at MD Anderson getting my 90 day post-op CT scan and the results. I’ve been dreading these two days for at least 6 or 8 weeks. Mostly because it’s been nice not having to make that 4.5 hr trek and fight the traffic after doing it every week from mid Sept to mid May. I can’t honestly say that I was anticipating bad news but there’s always the thoughts of not if it comes back but when. Unless you’ve been through the battle and experienced those feelings you will never know.
My results was not good news. The first news I received was that my right lung had a large amount of fluid on it and needed to be drained. Then he said that my cancer was back. Not in the area of my last surgery but in the area of my first surgery three years ago. My oncologist said we are going to attack this in 2 phases. The first phase being to drain my lung immediately and start chemo ASAP.. My chemo will consist of a combination of 3 drugs. Two of which I’ve taken before.. My treatment schedule will be a single day treatment of all 3 drugs and then skip 2-3 weeks (1 cycle) and then repeat. I’ve got to do 4 cycles. Starting now and during my 4 cycles he said that he was going to work on a plan for phase 2 and will be discussing it with me so we can be ready to go with it. I got my lung drained yesterday after my visit with the oncologist and they drained a little more than 1.5 liters. They are sending the fluid off for test to see if it’s cancer related. He said my left lung was perfect and my right lung had no fluid or any signs of fluid on my last scan which was done the last week of May.
This is nothing that I can’t handle.. I’ve been through it three times before, and I will get through it again. I have a ton of support praying for me from all around the world and I have my Lord & Savior leading my way. The results are definitely not what I had hoped for but I’m at total peace with it. I prayed to be healed only if it was in His will. I don’t question why because I don’t need to understand why. The Bible tells us in Isaiah 55:8-9, “my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Instead of worrying about why and feeling sorry for myself and letting it drag me down, I will focus on all the blessings that God bestows on me everyday from the biggest to the smallest..
“They will wage war against the Lamb, but the Lamb will triumph over them because he is Lord of lords and King of kings—and with him will be his called, chosen and faithful followers.” (Revelations 17:14)
Relax in God’s peaceful presence. Do not bring performance pressures into your sacred space of communion. When you’re with someone you trust completely, you feel free to be yourself. This is one of the joys of true friendship. Although He is Lord of lords and King of kings, He also desires to be your intimate Friend. When you are tense or pretentious in your relationship with Him, He feels hurt. God knows not only the best about you but He also knows your worst. He longs for you to trust Him enough to be fully yourself with Him. When you are real with Him, He will bring out the best in you which includes the very gifts that He has planted in your soul. Relax and enjoy your friendship.
Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. ” (John 15:13-15)
I hope you all have a FANTASTIC day… Blessing & much love…D