Do You Ever Just Feel like Crying

Good Morning my friends,
I’m asked quite often, how are you feeling/doing?

I’ve must admit a lot of the I want to say, “Honestly?”

here goes……..

Yesterday was a rough day.  In fact it was a bad day.  It was an emotional day.   Since I’m speaking from the heart, I’ve had several of those in the last month.  A couple of years after Keri & I got married, after she had a particularly rough day she asked me,  “Do you ever just feel like crying?”  I answered her honestly with a loving no!!  I never quite understood what she meant when she asked me that question until this last few weeks.  There have been days when it took all I had to keep from it.  There have been mornings in the last month when she’s been helping get dressed that I’ve broke down..

You see….I’ve been at this for well over 3 years.   It’s been one surgery right after another,  two rounds of chemo, 1 round of radiation and it’s like I’ve never being able to fully recover and to be frank it has finally caught up with me.   I’ve pushed and pushed and pushed and even pushed some more but I’ve hit a wall.  A wall that I can’t seem to get past.  My mind & body have reached the point of exhaustion..   Believe me when I tell you that this is more difficult for me to grasp than it is for me to admit.  It’s difficult because this is not something I’m use to..  I’ve always been able to physically push myself beyond a point like this because I’m so strong mentally.  But this time is different.  Its hard to put into words.   Keri has always waited on me hand & foot..  Not because I’m lazy or demand but because that’s how she is and what she loves to do.  I never thought twice about her doing this because I knew I was capable of doing those things for myself but now it’s different.  It’s different now because I’m not able.  I need help with everything I do.  There are things that I’m not physically capable of doing and it’s hard for this guy that has always been strong & active to accept.  

So how am I feeling/doing??

I’m frustrated…but blessed with patience.
I’m tired….but blessed with stamina.
I’m beat down….but blessed with courage.
I hurt…but blessed with comfort.
I’m at a loss….but blessed with hope.
I’m at my breaking point….but blessed with a desire to NEVER QUIT.

So I’m blessed!!!

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”(Romans 8:38-39)

Draw near to Jesus with a thankful heart and be aware that your cup is overflowing with blessings.   Gratitude enables you to perceive Him more clearly and to rejoice in your love-relationship.  Nothing can separate you from His Loving Presence!   That is the basis of your security.  Whenever you start to feel anxious, remind yourself that your security rests in Him alone, and that He is totally trustworthy.   You will never be in control of your life’s circumstances, but you can relax and trust His control.  Instead of striving for a predictable, safe lifestyle, seek to know Jesus in a greater depth.  He longs to make your life a glorious adventure, but you must stop clinging to your old ways.  He is always doing something new within His beloved ones.  Be on the lookout for all that He has  prepared for you.

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise— in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” (Psalm 56:3-4)

MY CHALLENGE PRAYER for YOU..  Trust in The Lord with all your heart and receive everything that He has prepared for you..

I hope you all have a MARVELOUS day…      Blessing & much love…D

Live YOUR life like it’s your LAST 24!!





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