I don’t share the ups & downs of my personal battle with cancer for sympathy or self grandiose. I do not seek to be put high on a pedestal. I’m nothing special. I’m nothing more than a sinner that has been washed clean by the blood that was shed on the cross by Jesus. I don’t have a special pipeline to my Heavenly Father where He blesses me with super natural strength and stamina to fight this battle alone. In fact, if I were doing this alone I would have many more moments of weakness. I would question even more of how much I must endure? When will enough be enough? Or question whether or not I should continue to pump the poison into my body that’s treating my disease. The truth is God has surrounded me with an amazing support cast that means way more to me than they will ever realize.
My chemo treatment last week was the worse since I started my second round of chemo back in September. Although I had already gone through 3 just like it, this time was a lot different. The nausea was way more intense. No liquids or solid food would stay down for more than 15-20 minutes. Nausea meds didn’t work because I couldn’t keep them down. It was a vicious cycle. There were times that I would start feeling somewhat normal and think it was finally behind me and then the nausea would come screaming for vengeance. My beautiful wife has been by my side 24/7 since my first diagnosis over 30 months ago. She has stayed with me every night in the hospital. When I’m up sick, she’s up caring for me. When I need something she’s always eager to find whatever I need. She knows when to look at me and just smile, to touch my head and to hold my hand. She knows when I need to hear those precious words, “I love you.” God sent her to me because she is my angel.
I tell you these things because it’s my desire to be transparent not only in my battle but in my walk as well. I too have struggles. I also question. This cancer is not a cake walk by no means. It’s not just a monthly or weekly battle. It’s most often an every day battle. But there are times that it’s hour to hour, sometimes minute to minute and it can also be second to second. There are many peaks and valleys. I do my best to see the beauty that God has in store for me while I walk in the valleys but I always remember that
“Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. (Psalm 23:4-6)
I’m not sure what tomorrow will bring in my battle, I just pray that whatever comes my way that God blesses me with the courage to embrace it, so I then can thank Him for making me into the man that He wants me to be and not the world. I will continue to look up because “I can do all this through Christ who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13)
Thank you all for your continued prayers and love.
MY CHALLENGE PRAYER for YOU!!! During your struggles in the valley look up!!
I pray that YOU have a MAGNIFICENT day. Blessings & much love…. D
Live YOUR life like it’s your LAST 24!!!