Good Morning my friends,
It’s all about tone & delivery (attitude).. Those words still echo what seemed like almost daily in my first 20 years of marriage. Keri & I would start a conversation and before I knew it she would be upset and crying and I hadn’t even raised my voice. My frustrations would then set in, my voice level would raise, my tone would become even less caring (not realizing) and the damage would continue. This endless cycle continued until finally we just quit talking. She felt like I was talking down to her and didn’t like it and I felt like she was wearing her feelings on her shoulders and didn’t understand… She would tell me, “I’m not an employee, I’m your wife.. I don’t need sternness..”
Over the last three years I’m learning (slowly) to slow down and listen first and speak second. Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t even come close to perfecting it yet but it’s a work in progress.. We communicate better now more than ever. There are still times when I let my frustrations in life over take me and I take it out on her but now I’m able to see her it immediately and apologize and then I try start over and explain better why my frustrations are where they are which were never her to begin with..
Words effect each person differently. Communication is an art. You can communicate your same message calmly, under control and get a better response than going in with your guns blazing and voice raised with lots of useless words. I’ve learned that if what I am going to say isn’t going to change anything then it’s best for me to keep silent.. I shouldn’t let my words go if they’re just because going to make me feel better….
“They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim cruel words like deadly arrows.” (Psalm 64:3)
I’m certain everyone has been hurt by the words of someone else. Often–perhaps more often than you realize–you have said things to people that are simply spoken thoughtlessly, carelessly and delivered inappropriately. There have been times in my life when I have used my words to sting intentionally–and I’m sure they did. I have asked forgiveness for those times.
Either way, when others criticize you (or vice versa), say something hurtful or insensitive, your first reaction should be to ask ourselves if there is any truth in what they say. If so, you need to be honest with yourself and ask God to help you correct whatever may need correcting. But even if those words were spoken maliciously, you need to turn your hurts over to God and ask Him to help you respond with forgiveness, grace and mercy.
If you’re honest, you would have to admit that you sometimes have hurt others with your words. Don’t excuse it, ignore it, but admit it and seek forgiveness–both from God and from the person you hurt. Then make the psalmist’s prayer yours: “Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips”. (141:3)
My CHALLENGE PRAYER…. Listen & think before you speak… You have a filter so use it..
I hope you all have a TREMENDOUS day.. Blessings & much love….D
Live YOUR life like it’s your LAST 24!!!!